LAKE MARTIN in the NEWS-

Bubble? We don't need no stinking bubble.

For those of you worried that there is a housing bubble that is ready to pop in the Lake Martin real estate market, maybe the recent mess of clippings will bring some new info.

Recently the Lake has been mentioned in the following publications, (in order of increasing circulation):

The Alexander City Outlook - which is lighting the way for us all, said in this article that "Alabama residents have long known of Lake Martin as a scenic getaway; now, the rest of the country is beginning to take notice."

MSN Money had an article on emerging second home markets that listed the Lake in the top 10 in the nation- with this blurb "Lake Martin, Ala. Bass fishing is big in this town nestled in the southernmost foothills of the Appalachian mountains. Nearby: Birmingham, Montgomery and Atlanta."

Barron's Magazine had an article in late May that stated:

In Alabama, a 320-mile lake whose waters are still drinkable is being developed by a conservationist. The pristine Lake Martin has become a destination for second-home owners not only from Alabama, Georgia and Tennessee but around the country.
"We're trying to make sure we're building something you can't get anywhere else," says Steven Arnberg, company broker for Russell Lands, of the developer of Lake Martin. The company is using building materials forged from native trees and stone. "It looks like the houses dropped from the sky," says Arnberg. Lake Martin is still being discovered, so there's probably upside left, despite 40% jumps in land values.

... Well that is amazing. I thought it might be true, but to read that Arnberg admitted this in a national publication really hits home with me. Houses dropping out of the sky! Holy Crap! What a potential hazard!! I don't know if these 40% jumps in land values will continue once people realize that a house might fall out of the sky on top of them or their loved ones, or their families, too. I must admit I have seen some of the new homes around the lake and I have wondered. My next question - what about the asphalt streets that service these houses? Mr Arnberg, please help us? Where will the next rash of falling houses happen? Lookout from above!! And what about the people that inhabit these houses? Do they fall from the sky as well? Save us Mr. Arnberg, save us my pretties ..................

THIS IS CALLED A PUDDLE -

For those who might have never experienced rain, this structure is called a puddle. The recent drought has made them all but extinct.

At least the latest rains have brought back a few puddles to the area, causing the People for Ethical Water (PEW) to roll back their protests against the greenhouse gas emitting public.

Their concern is that the "global warming" caused by us callous Americans has contributed to the present drought and general lack of moisture. They have no comment on why, if their reasoning is accurate, that the melting ice caps would not put more moisture into the air and thereby have MORE rain, instead of less rain. When posed with this skip in their logic, they always retreat to their shelters that they have erected under Al Gore's ever burgeoning bosoms.

If PEW's views are to be believed, the lack of puddles is destroying the little man. Puddles, they claim, are good for the economy in many ways. For example, they splish splash water and mud on windshields, dirtying them so that city panhandlers can squeegee your window for a dollar. Never ones to take money "out of the economy" by foolishly saving it, the panhandlers take that dollar and immediately spend it on crystal meth. The crystal meth dealers take that money and spend it in Head Shops, the owners of which take their profits and buy weed, spurring the economy exponentially. Let's not forget that when the government spends billions to help all of them with their self esteem, that pumps back cash to the streets. Maybe we should listen to PEW and start worrying that global warming is slowing down the crackheads.

Acapulco Rock - Now at least people know its name.

The recent tragedies at Lake Martin's Acapulco Rock have definitely been heartbreaking to say the least. Even though I grew up on the lake, I never have jumped from anything higher than Chicken Rock. Thank the Lord. I had heard enough urban legends (rock overhangs under water trap bodies, giant catfish, etc) to scare me out of it when I was young enough to try.



I guess the miniscule bright side of all this attention is hoi polloi finally call it Acapulco Rock instead of Chimney Rock. That has always irritated me. People would even brag - "I jumped off of the highest part of Chimney Rock" - not likely, cretin. Chimney Rock is actually close to where the rope swing is. If you are looking at the rope swing from the water, Chimney Rock is that tall spire to the left that looks like - you guessed it - a chimney. Any mouth breathing fool (below) who climbed up it and jumped off would either splat on another rock or be impaled by a pine tree.

To confuse the two rocks is to instantly identify yourself as a rube Johnny come lately to the lakey. Not cool. Pick up a map and orient yourself. Know Sand Island from Sandy Creek. The Narrows from Nero's Point. Baker's Bottom from Blooming Bottom. Please, make an effort.